Happy New Year friends! Sorry I’ve been MIA for a few months. I’ve just accepted that at least for now blogging will not happen as often I would like. Maybe I should make a new year’s resolution to blog more but I don’t know about you but I rarely keep my resolutions. So I’m probably better off to resolve to blog less and then maybe I’ll actually blog more (how’s that for reverse psychology!).
My prayer for all of you is that 2011 is a year filled with wonderful blessings, better health, and closeness and depth in your relationship with God. 2010 has been an interesting year for me. In many ways I feel like it came in like a lion and out like a lamb. The first 2 months of the year were terrible for me. I lost almost my entire savings in car repairs and tax bills, I was in horrible pain from fibro, infections & the flu, and we had the record breaking worst winter in my town ever! I was really in a low place mentally dealing with all of that and it is really only by the grace of God that I got through some of those very tough days.
Spring was a much better time for me-our terrible winter gave way to the most beautiful, warm Spring in recent memory. I had fun shopping with my cousins at our outdoor mall, hanging out with my brother on his Spring break, enjoying the last few weeks with my sister before she moved to Philly and fun trips to Atlanta and LA to visit friends.
Summer was a busy, busy time for me and by the time Fall rolled around I was ready to collapse! I took advantage of the fact that I generally feel better in the summer by working a ton. I had 5 jobs. I worked as a nanny Mon-Fri. Worked at my new office job on Sundays and somehow found time to work a few hours from home too. It wasn’t all work and no play though. The kids and I had a great time doing fun summer activities like swimming, the park, the library, movies etc. I also traveled July 4th weekend to Philadelphia to see my sister get married. It was a very small wedding but very nice and fit perfectly for my sister and her new husband. In August Kelly and Jon came back here for a big wedding party with all our friends and family. It was so great seeing everyone especially my aunt and uncle who traveled from Texas.
I made my way into Fall determined to work less and relax more as I realized I had pushed myself to the max physically in the summer. At first I was doing pretty good. One of my regular nanny jobs ended so I was only down to working for 1 family, doing bookkeeping for a local company and working a few hours a week at home for a friend. I also loved the new homeschool preschool lessons and activities I was doing with the little boy I watch. With less hours working I was able to enjoy fall activities and festivals and even planned a trip to visit family in Texas in Nov. But it wasn’t long before my office job hours increased and I realized I was working more than was good for me physically. It was hard for me to accept that I needed to cut back my office hours because I knew I could use the money but after my trip to Texas I knew I needed to make a change. My long weekend trip to Texas was supposed to be a fun, relaxing time with family. Instead of taking off a few days of work to go on the trip I decided to work my entire workweek in 3 days and by the time I went to TX I was exhausted. Combining that exhaustion with other health issues I was having, including chronic vertigo was a recipe for disaster. I felt terrible the whole time I was on vacation. Usually when I feel bad I’m still able to push through and go on with activities like nothing is wrong but my vertigo was so bad that I literally couldn’t lift my head off the pillow 3 of the 4 days we were there. When I got home I immediately cut back my office hours. It was a much-needed change.
The last 6 weeks of 2010 have really been great for me. The change to my work schedule really helped take my pain and stress levels down and for that I am so grateful to God. I just cut out 1 day a week at my office job which wouldn't seem like a lot but I've definitely noticed a difference. That job was more of a challenge for me physically over watching the kids because it's hard for me to sit in the same position for a long time and the desk work was really causing a lot of neck and back pain. With the change, I have had much more time to relax, I LOVE all the fun Christmas events and parties I got to go to, I found time to perform in our local arts council performance of Handel’s Messiah and I of course loved decorating for Christmas and celebrating my 28th birthday. Despite some insomnia issues creeping up things have really been great lately and I hope this relaxed pace continues into winter 2011-especially since Jan and Feb are notoriously difficult months for me.
Looking back on the year it's been rough physically but God has been so faithful to me. My drs are unsure what to do with me anymore (not what you want to hear-ha!). In the last 8 yrs I went from having a few days or weeks of pain followed by months of no pain to where now I haven't had a pain free day at all in 2010 and probably less than 30 or so pain free days in 2009. But the cool thing is the worse I have gotten physically the more I have had to cling to God and the more my walk with Him has grown so honestly even though I wish I didn't feel this way everyday I don't regret it because I can really see the purpose in why God allows me to be in pain. Obviously I don't always handle the pain with so much joy-haha-but it's getting a little better but seriously it's only because of God. Any good day I have I take no credit for at all. It's all Him! I think the hardest thing for me will always be not the pain itself but mentally dealing with constant pain & fatigue. It feels like having a bad flu where you're tired & in pain....for yrs. And it's hard to be joyful in that state but with prayer and really being more strict with my schedule-sleeping & resting more & saying no to activities more has helped me better mentally cope with how I feel physically. I have so many things to be grateful for and I'm trying to focus on that more than the pain. Maybe 2011 will be the first yr of less pain for me. I look forward with great anticipation to see all the things God will do in my life and lives of my friends and family in the upcoming year. I enjoy praying for all of you and keeping track of the many answered prayers. So here’s to 2011 may it be the best year yet!