Hope you're all doing well. Sorry for my couple week absence. Life has been very busy here on my end. 3 weeks ago I went to Atlanta to visit my dear friend Mandy. We had a relaxing weekend hanging out and eating lots of yummy food! It was the just the low key, fun weekend I needed. I love traveling and am so excited too that I get to go on another trip next week to LA!!
Since I've been home from Atlanta I've been working..a lot...just finished 7 days in a row yesterday. It went well and I'm so thankful to God for that but it was exhausting. I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to juggle so many jobs...especially this summer when I'm going to have 5! It's a good problem to have though because I really need the money. My savings was nearly wiped out this winter with car, medical and tax bills and I need all the work I can get to build it back up but that doesn't mean it's easy to take on so much especially physically. I have a feeling these next few months especially will be filled with lots of prayers for God's strength coming from me.
So just in the last 2 weeks, unfortunately, I've noticed a flare up in my fatigue. Fatigue is a normal part of living with fibromyalgia but in the last few weeks I've noticed a special kind of fatigue that usually only comes once or twice a year for me. I have always had insomnia since I was a child and have had to take meds to help me sleep for years but at least a few times a yr the meds don't work and I can't stay asleep. And then at some points during the year I do sleep but feel an abnormal level of fatigue during the day to the point of needing to nap. I have had a combo of both types of fatigue lately. It can be so annoying to not sleep and after several days of no sleep my pain has been so severe it feels like I haven't taken my fibro meds-that's how much my pain is affected by sleep. And then being tired during the day is driving me crazy because as you can imagine my day isn't exactly structured to accommodate afternoon naps and some days without them I am way too overtired and emotionally out of sorts. I remember going through this exact same thing last June and going to the sleep dr for it. There is nothing I can really do except I am trying to adjust my meds but other than that I need to ride it out and pray that it lasts shorter than the 6 weeks of sleepiness I experienced last year.
It's hard enough to get everything done I need to everyday without needing an afternoon nap. I've mostly been surviving on prayer & Starbucks (which hasn't been kind to my wallet..or I suspect my waistline at some point!). Oh well. I'm trusting God and praying for His grace to get through this time. The 6 months of pain and constant infections I had this past Fall and Winter showed me firsthand that things could be MUCH worse than they are now. After going through that and not having the constant pain for 2 months now, I've come to appreciate and cherish each day of less intense pain. Even if I am exhausted I am still so grateful for the healing and relief God has shown me this year. While I'm used to chronic pain with my fibro, the intensity of the pain I experienced this fall and winter gave me a whole new appreciation for those in daily pain, which is odd to say because I've been in daily pain for 6 years! But I understood with greater depth how terrible it can be when you feel like you can't take it anymore and can get no relief. This empathy has spurred a whole new intensity in my prayers for those suffering-including many of you reading who are on my prayer list.
It grieves my heart to hear of the pain some of you are in, both physical and emotional pain. I know exactly how you feel and my heart cries out to God for you. Never cease in praying. God does hear you even if you don't see answers to your prayers, and that's the hardest place to be in. I've shared my struggles many times on here about living life in that place and I want to encourage you to press on in the midst of the storm you're facing and cling to Jesus.
It reminds me of Acts chapter 16 when Paul and Silas have been beaten and are in prison, never knowing if or when their suffering will end. And in that place of struggle they choose to praise God. It reminds me that no matter what circumstance we face we can choose to praise God in the pain and uncertainty, to come to Him when we feel most overwhelmed, knowing that no matter what we face there is much to praise God for. I would love to hear how all of you are, as always feel free to send me prayer requests anytime.