At the beginning of the year lots of people were doing word of the year posts. At the time I couldn't think of a word to describe what I thought 2012 would be for me but 5 months into the year I for sure know my word is change. Lots and lots of change. And it's really a good thing I didn't know in advance what this word would be. I'm not a huge fan of change. For some reason I associate change with something bad. I guess it's just fear of the unknown.
My year of change started right away at the end of January when I visited LA. There I had my first change, 2 whole pretty much pain free days! This wonderful change lead to another one in February- I felt led for the first time ever to pray for total healing of my fibromyalgia. It was risky, scary and exciting. January, February and March were very hard months for me as they often are and I'll never forget one day in March crying to my mom and telling her everything needed to change- from my fibro, to my meds, to my job, to my finances- everything was such a mess & needed to change.
And that's when another change happened. I decided to go off all my medications. This was so very difficult for me to even try. I had tried so many times & it was terrible. I so wanted this time to be different & I was afraid if I "failed" the disappointment would be too much for me. But God is His mercy guided me & strengthened me as I stepped out in faith to trust Him to help me get off my fibro meds. And here this very week I celebrate 1 month off all my fibro meds. Simply amazing.
Which leads me to yet another change. This winter which I named my season of struggle left me physically and mentally exhausted and definitely in need of a break and it's no secret that working has been a challenge for me. It's hard to work to support yourself when you can't work full time and even harder to work when you never feel good. So 2 weeks ago after much prayer, consideration & counsel from family & friends I made the decision to quit my primary job as a nanny. My last day will be June 14th. It was such a hard decision for me. I know it is the best decision for me and truly believe it's what God wants for me but it was so hard to choose to trust God entirely with my finances. I'm a person that likes control especially over money and this felt like too much of a risk but in the end I chose to obey and I cannot tell you the peace I've had since making that decision. And God has already begun to provide for me financially in unexpected ways. *Update- only 1 day after I wrote this post, my insurance company out of no where sent me a check for $898.74 because the state told them they overcharged me & had to pay me back! Seriously out of no where God just sent me almost $900!! Amazing what happens when we listen to God and chose to trust Him-He does wonderful things that are beyond what we can hope for or imagine!!!*
I'm so very excited by the prospect of working less this summer and taking time to focus on my health and just relax! I'm still going to be working 1 day/wk doing bookkeeping for a local company & I'm still working from home for my friend Candace's ministry but in general I'm going to have a lot more free time on my hands & I CAN'T WAIT. I've already nicknamed this summer, the Summer of Fun, and hopefully it will live up to its name.
I'm so grateful for all these new changes in my life. They are truly answers to years of prayer and I am so excited to see what God will do next. And what excites me most is to see the way God is using these changes to grow me in my relationship with Him. It's one thing to say we totally trust God with everything or to say that He is our provider & our strength but it's a completely different story when He asks you to walk out what you say you believe. It's hard but oh so rewarding!
Once again I want to thank all of you who have prayed me through these changes. I am still praying for total healing of my fibromyalgia as well as praying for God to provide for me financially. I am praying that after a restful summer I will be able to find another part-time work from home job to add to my other jobs & misc nannying. I would love for that new job to be with a ministry of some sort but of course I'm open to whatever God has. So if you know of any opportunities let me know.
So what has God been doing in all of your lives? What is He teaching you? I love to hear from you all!