Bargaining with God

A Better Deal Than Bargaining

Bargaining – we are all tempted to do it, especially during difficult times as psychiatrist Dr. Kübler-Ross noted in the five stages of grief . As Christians, we too can often find ourselves bargaining with God and wondering if God in some way bargains with us based on our deeds.

We get the news that someone we love is gone and we immediately want another chance not to take them for granted. Sickness strikes and we’d give anything just to have a whole body again.  Prayers are not answered the way we desire and we wonder if we had prayed more or if we had been seeking God more if he would have given us our hearts’ desire.

My husband recently interviewed for a job that would pay much better than his current job and would relocate us to a city where I would have better access to pain management options as I suffer with a rare type of debilitating chronic pelvic pain and currently have to travel 3 hours for treatment. Unfortunately my pain is not well managed because I am unable to get the consistent care I need. We were hopeful this job would be the answer to our prayers both financially and physically for me and that better days might be on the horizon.

We waited 7 long weeks, but this was not God’s plan as my husband was not offered the job. After the initial disappointment and frustration, despite knowing better, I was tempted to think that God’s “No” was because I didn’t pray hard enough or have enough faith. Or maybe because others didn’t pray enough.  Or maybe because I haven’t been reading my Bible as consistently as I should. Or maybe because God doesn’t want to give this to us because I am not content enough, finding my hope and joy in Him alone. Sometimes we think that God is in heaven with a scale bargaining with us and if we don’t measure up to our end of the deal, then He won’t give us what we want.

But thankfully that’s not the way God deals with us.

We can never measure up to God’s righteousness, and if God were to give us our end of the deal we’d receive death every time (Romans 6:23). God does not withhold gifts based on our good or bad deeds. Ultimately all that we have or don’t have is a grace of God, including our very own salvation (Ephesians 2:8-9).  There is nothing we could ever do in return to earn God’s favor.

Therefore, we have no bargaining rights with God.

“Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are his judgments and how inscrutable his ways! "For who has known the mind of the Lord, or who has been his counselor?" "Or who has given a gift to him that he might be repaid?" For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be glory forever. Amen.”  Romans 11:33-36

Let’s be honest, sometimes we think we are really doing God a favor – helping that family in need, giving money to orphans in Africa, spending an hour in prayer – don’t we? And just like we expect to be repaid for a day’s work, secretly we expect God to reward us for our “gifts” to Him. But in reality, everything we have comes from God, including our very breath (Acts 17:25). We could never give God something that He doesn’t already own, and He doesn’t need anything, especially not our good works.

Should we continue to pray and seek after God if He is in control and is going to do what He deems best? Of course –God commands it in His word and a heart that has been truly changed will desire to know more of God.  However, we should not seek God in hopes of obtaining bargaining rights to gain what we want.

I don’t know why God didn’t give my husband that job and I may never understand exactly. It’s tempting to worry and be a little angry. But we cannot measure the depth of God’s wisdom and He sure doesn’t need counsel from us! So when the bad news comes (and it will come), we can stand firm knowing that God is faithful, He will do what is right (Deuteronomy 32:4), and, unlike us, He will carry out His end of the bargain (1 Peter 5:10). 

About the Author: The Purpose of Pain

 

The Purpose of Pain is a young wife and mother to a busy preschooler. On the outside she looks like anyone else, but on the inside she is very different. Chronic pain in one form or another has been her constant companion since November 2008, but through her suffering she is learning there is great purpose in pain. Follow her on Twitter and Facebook as she strives to lean on the sure sovereignty of God in this momentary life.





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