Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding
In all ways submit to Him and He will make your paths straight.
It's not something that makes him physically sick, and it's not something that most people understand or even care to take the time to.
Ryan is 9 years old, and our eldest son of three and he is amazing. He is incredibly smart, a natural caregiver, creative, imaginative, thoughtful, and generous. There are so many wonderful things about him that truly blow my mind on a daily basis; he like all children of God is, truly remarkable. The fact that he can be so amazing when he is up against so much, makes him all the more remarkable.
But all those above things that I mentioned, those might not be the first things that you notice if you were to meet him.
You might notice that if he's sitting down, he's constantly rocking back and forth.
You might notice that if we're at the grocery store we can't get through the aisles without him "fixing" or "facing" all the food/products on the shelves.
You might notice that he has his fingers/hands tapping and moving all the time.
You might notice that what seems like an easy situation for another 9 year old has turned Ryan into an anxious wreck.
You might notice that he just yelled at me in public.
You might notice that he may have rapid blinking eyes, or constant clicking tongue sounds.
These are a lot of the traits that people first notice about Ryan. Because Ryan has ADHD, (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) ODD, (Oppositional Defiance Disorder) and this past week was also diagnosed with Tourette syndrome, as well as possible OCD. It hurts my heart to watch him struggle, but it hurts my heart a lot more to watch people react to him. Because generally people don’t react kindly to him, they find him annoying, or frustrating. They have no idea how annoying and frustrating it is sometimes to be him.
By grade one Ryan was showing symptoms of his ADHD/ODD, by grade two the symptoms were beginning to disrupt the class and become a problem at home, by grade three everything we had tried at home and at school had failed so we were backed into a corner to put Ryan into a new school into a "special class" where the focus was on emotional/behavioral wellness and not academics until the child is ready. Throughout the school year we were waiting and hoping to see some improvement with all the new resources that had been made available, but instead Ryan seemed to be getting worse. His anxiety was at an all time high and he was faking sickness almost everyday to avoid even going to school. Before we knew it the school year was over and we had seen very little (if any) improvement, and my mommy senses were telling me (and had been for quite some time) that Ryan really wasn't getting what he needed from this program.
Over the summer I prayed a lot. And sometimes God has a funny way of answering prayers… In our case He had to do something drastic for me to understand it was okay to follow Him, but that story deserves a post all of it’s own!
Trusting God isn't always easy, especially when it means going against the grain of everyone else around you, and what they think you should be doing. The Lord led us to homeschool Ryan, and although it was terrifying at first (for me) it was the best choice God ever made for us. And I say God, because it was truly Him who made this choice, and us who followed. We began to see positive results in Ryan almost immediately, which gave me the confidence that I needed to continue following God's will.
Some children will do great in programs like the one Ryan tried; there were kids in his class that were doing fantastic. But Ryan needed something different, and God knew exactly what he needed. Sometimes I think about where we would be if I wouldn't have trusted God, and would have listened to the teachers when I was taking Ryan out of the program. I almost kept him in, the pressure was so great, and they were the professionals after all.
At Ryan’s appointment this past week the doctor reconfirmed to me why I'm so glad we made the choice we did. She said "The reason why 50% of children with similar diagnosis's to Ryan's go on to have such difficult life struggles is because they were forced at such a young, vulnerable age to force their diagnosis to try and fit their environments which is impossible to accomplish. The reason why we have seen such positive results from Ryan, and with no medication in only one year is because rather then force his diagnosis to fit his environment; you've actually changed his environment to fit his diagnosis."
Those words were so sweet to my soul! Knowing that the changes we’ve made have impacted Ryan in such a positive way all because we chose to trust the Lord, it’s amazing! Watching Ryan learn and grow in a happier more content way, it’s amazing! It’s not always easy; we still have tough days when I wonder how on earth we’ll make it through. And these are the days where I have to remember that Ryan didn’t choose this anymore then I did and there is a plan much bigger then we both know. The Lord has us covered, he chose us for this path for a reason and we intend to travel it well, for His glory!
About the Author: Corrine Hannon
Corrine lives in Alberta, Canada where she is busy being a wife to the man of her dreams, and raising/home schooling her wonderful 3 boys. Having children with severe chronic medical conditions, and recently diagnosed with a neurological medical condition herself she is learning more then ever what it means to trust God. Corrine is passionate about marriage, parenting, and being an advocate for you child’s health and education. You can find Corrine blogging at Corrine’s Meadow and on twitter @corrinehannon
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